I thought I'd know my purpose by now

Can someone tell me where to find my purpose? I’ve looked everywhere. Under couches, behind the bed, in my dreams, sat in silence and searched my heart. I’ve looked between the seats in my car and I've gone into nature just for small glimpse. A little light at the end of the tunnel to tell me that I’m headed in the right direction. Hours and hours of spiritual seminars, hours and hours of reading books telling me to follow my heart and that everything that I need to figure this out is inside me. “Trust your heart,” they say. Do any of these thoughts sound familiar to you?  Me too.  

The “purpose” or “meaning” to any one life can be a very fluid idea. In the past, (by in the past, I mean a couple of days ago),  I believed that purpose was a destination. I believed that it was an end to something. Purpose was a goal to be marked off my checklist. The same could be said about success but that’s a story for another day. Purpose, to me, was revealed to you by God, and it was the thing that you were meant to do day in and day out. Purpose was going from point A to point Z, but where does that leave the rest of the alphabet. Allow me to explain.

A dear friend of mine and I were having a conversation and she said, “When we think of it as just a destination, we miss the beautiful journey in between.” We get so focused on the end that we don’t stop to look at the flowers. We get a little bitter and angry at the journey rather than embracing both the good and bad parts of the journey. Here is where it gets deep. What if purpose isn’t the destination, but the journey that we take. I know, mind blowing stuff here.

Let me paint a picture for you, maybe a couple. You’re a salesman for a luxury store. Each day that you walk in you have a sales goal for the day. The old way of thinking would say, “ The purpose of this 8 hour shift is to sell $2000 worth of merchandise.” The conversations that are had with the customers are very shallow because conversion is the only goal. That will lead to customers thinking of you as just another salesman trying to hit quota. A different way of thinking would say, “Yes I have that goal for the day but how can I add value to the people I meet and how can I build relationships with the people that I encounter today.” Trust me, the second one works way better than the first.  By shifting the focus to building relationships you can add value to the guests’ experience and help them find the best solutions to their issue. By building that relationship they think of you as a friend and that can increase the likelihood that they’ll come back and purchase even more. Play the long game love.  

Another example, which hits a little closer to home would be, I want to be a singer. Singing and music bring me peace and joy. Singing brings emotions to life. If I could spend every day, all day singing, I would. No complaints and no questions asked. However, purpose in that looked a certain way. How can this be my purpose when the music industry is such a saturated field. I thought I had to get a certain amount of likes on a video, or people had to give me amazing compliments on my voice for me to consider singing my purpose and the thing I was meant to do.  

Singing is supposed to be easy, singing in front of other people should be a breeze.  But, sadly, it is not. I get stage fright and at my last open mic, my brother played the guitar and I sang. The only peace I got was from looking at him and not at the crowd because if I did stage fright would win this batter.  Worry not, I came out of the open mic unscathed with a hint of disappointment. 

The picture I painted in my head of the end result took away from the journey. I spent hours practicing with my brother and bonding with him in ways that we never would have before. I tried new things with my voice and got to experience bliss. I learned bits of a new song on the guitar. I connected with the music and I loved it. I sang in front of real, breathing people, not in the shower. My voice cracked and I kept going. Thinking of singing and music as a journey means that I begin the journey of evolving as a musician. My voice will crack many more times. I'll forget words and that’s okay. I’ll be nervous but I know its because I’m excited.

Purpose is a journey.  It’s not some random idea out in the sky, It’s something that you can chose for yourself.  If it aligns with who you are, trust that God is on your side because He wouldn’t give you that desire for no reason. The person you become on the journey is worth discovering. Try new things, fail. Try something different, fail again. Its worth it because with "failing" is only bad when you don't learn anything from it! So, yes, they are right when they say trust your heart, because you were given all the keys inside you to achieve everything you could ever dream of.  Sit with yourself.  Get uncomfortable and just melt into the experience.  

I would love to hear your thoughts?